Today I visited a forum that I hadn't been on for about seven years. I won't mention any names but I do remember that I enjoyed using it back then and talking to some very nice people there. And it were these happy memories that made me head back there today.
But oh dear, I soon wished I hadn't! From being a very fun, light-hearted place, the message boards were swamped with toxicity. That's the only way I can explain it. The judgement, even to really simple questions, was astounding. And that's before we even get to the name calling and bitchy comments. What I want to know is who's in charge there and why aren't they doing anything about it???
It made me think of the Nostalgia Pie forum which is one of two forums that I go on these days and it made me appreciate even more how laid back and friendly everyone is on here. It's a very welcoming forum and you can tell that everyone gets a lot of joy out of sharing happy memories. No one gets their head bitten off or is made to feel stupid. There might be the odd sarky comment but that's about it and that's hardly the end of the world!
There's a lot of tension in our daily lives, and the world we live in can sometimes appear quite gloomy. So it's lovely to have this space that's so positive. I'd like to thank Angel for creating this wonderful site and this amazing space where we can all 'hang out' and I'm really hoping that the moderators on this site will not allow Nostalgia Pie to descend into the kind of toxic chaos that I saw today.
I have to say that as I'm still only in my early thirties, I don't always know first hand all the things that are being discussed. And no I'm not showing off! But what I do like about this space is the warmth and that everyone seems to get along. There's no bitchiness or unnecessary rudeness and I feel like it's a great thing to learn about things I might not have known about. And let's face it, there's lots of things that we all still don't know about! So I really do hope that this site will continue in the same spirit where it's fun and enjoyable and everyone just gets along.
Well I've always said that bullying behaviour, if it's not dealt with appropriately in childhood, will only carry on into adulthood. I would hate to be a neighbour, work colleague etc. of one of these vile people who write awful posts online. If they can do that online goodness knows what they must be like in person.
I would say name and shame as they definitely deserve to be outed. The people who write such posts should be ashamed and attention should be drawn to the people who are running this site because they're not doing their job properly. Maybe not necessarily legally but morally they do have a duty of care to the people who use their site so they should start putting some practices in place.
It's a real pity when people feel the need to drag down something that was once fun and interesting and replace it a whole load of nastiness. It just drives away the genuine people who have something worthwhile to say because they don't want to mix with the trolls and bullies. And I can't say I blame them. I also wouldn't want to stay on a site like that. My stress levels can't cope with all that. Stricter guidelines need to be put in place to prevent chaos from happening I reckon.
I don't want to come across as rude or feisty but even though I do like Nostalgia Pie, I too have had issues on one of the posts on here. It was the one for sarah brown's vegetarian cooking. Some of the comments I made were mocked by a few people here and one of them was Lucie D. So I find it hard to believe that she would create this post talking about people being nice on social media.
Kindness and politeness cost nothing so people should definitely use them.
I think it's ridiculous that some so-called adult can sit at a computer and behave in such a vile manner. These people clearly have problems in their lives, and while I'm sorry about that, being ghastly online isn't the answer and doesn't actually improve your life in anyway. If anyone spoke to me like that I'd definitely give back as good as I get.
The big problem with forums and social media is that people are basically anonymous and can say what they like. They may very well get banned (from certain forums) but often the damage is done, they’ve said something sensational, people have read it, and that’s that. These people know this and I don’t know if there’s any way to avoid or stop them, at least once.
I think it’s worse on social media – I’m only on Facebook, and only a passive user at that, I only have 8 Facebook friends, all people I’ve known for decades. I’d assume Twitter is much the same, people are generally alike (good and bad) no matter where you go. I’ve been tempted to open a Twitter account (usually when I’m bored and have nothing better to do) but haven’t as yet.
I've used online forums in the past and even though it wasn't what I set out to do, I somehow ended up creating some lovely friendships on social media. My experiences, so far at least, have been very good and I go on these sites quite often. I suffer from anxiety so a site or forum where people come across as very rude and stroppy and there's just a very unpleasant atmosphere doesn't do me any good at all, so I'd probably last five minutes there. It never fails to amaze me that people feel it's OK to be rude when giving an opinion or because they're sat behind a keyboard. Manners cost nothing wherever you are so you should use them.
I would actually take up this issue with whoever was managing the forum. They have a responsibility to ensure a safe space and to tell those who cannot behave themselves to go take a hike. I have used other forums before and have joined other online groups but if the mood changed to an intensely negative one, I would leave. But not before I told them what I thought!
I spend a lot of time on Instagram and I've built up quite a following of lovely Insta buddies who I really enjoy talking to, and I've even been lucky enough to meet up with some of them. If the atmosphere became very hostile and I was starting to dread going on there, then I'd definitely have to quit Instagram. I suffer with GAD so as you can imagine, any kind of toxic environment is best avoided. So if I stumbled across the forum that LucieD is talking about, I reckon I'd be gone in five minutes and would not be returning in a hurry!
That's one of the reasons why I'm glad to have found this forum, where the atmosphere is lighthearted and friendly. Everyone is made to feel welcome and has something positive to bring to the table. And long may that continue. I do hope that Angel and anyone who may have a role in moderating this site will do their utmost to ensure that this forum remains a warm, welcoming, and friendly space.
Aw, bless you LucieD! 😘 Thank you so much for such a kind comment. It's nice to know that we're doing something right here at Nostalgia Pie! 😀
When I had the old Nostalgia Pie site, it was always an ambition of mine to create a forum to go along with the blog where followers could share their own memories and partake in discussions. And three years ago, I was able to do just that! 😀 The first forum I ever used to go on was fantastic. There was such a wonderful camaraderie among the users, and it's no surprise that many of them went on to become friends in the 'real world' as well as online. Although there may have been maybe a couple of times when someone got testy, and there was one know-it-all, it really was a fab forum and I was quite sad when the people running the forum decided to close it down as they wanted to move on to other things. I always hoped that my forum would have the same vibe, and I'd like to think that it has, and that we've managed to create a sense of community.
So far there hasn't been any nastiness or animosity among the members here and after what you've just said, Lucie, I'm very grateful for that. The Nostalgia Pie community is a small one but it's steadily growing. And while I'm pleased about that, I do worry about it reaching the point where it's difficult for me to see what's going on here. Apart from some input from the fella and friends, everything here is done by me so it can get tricky at times. So I'll really need to work harder if I want to keep things running smoothly here.
I'm sorry that your experience Lucie with the other forum wasn't such a positive one. And I'm shocked that that kind of behaviour is allowed to go on, especially as your sis-in-law 😊 has said that it's quite well-known. But there's no accounting for what some people do. I just hope you and all the other members continue to enjoy your time at Nostalgia Pie. 😘❤️
I know the site in question as LucieD mentioned to me about the kind of posts she came across (Luce and I are sisters-in-law in case anyone's wondering!) I may have used that particular site which is fairly well known and viewed the forum many years ago but I don't think I came across anything horribly offensive or I would have remembered. But I did go back and have a look after Luce told me about the sheer ridiculousness that she read. To be fair there are some nice people on there, and not all the comments are outrageous. But unfortunately they are far outweighed by the negativity on there which is really sad. There's very much a 'pack' mentality thing going on there, and those who are not part of the pack are ripped to shreds when it's not called for at all. I'm just shocked that those who are running the site just allow this to happen. Don't they realise they're giving their site a really bad rep?
Oh darling, I'm so sorry that you've had an unpleasant experience. I don't go on so many forums these days. I suppose the closest would be the Facebook groups that I've joined. But thankfully there hasn't been any unkindness and there's always been a really good vibe and lots of good discussions. Of course people disagree but we're all adults so we know how to conduct ourselves. It amazes me that fully grown adults still don't know the basics when it comes to having manners. Places and people like that are best avoided.